the more i see you
the more
i can’t understand
why it is
that i still
feel the way i do

love and lust
it’s hard to choose
in regards to you
and what’s the difference
and important to lose

so i’ll tell you a story of a boy and a girl
and how when she smiled it lit up his world
and for him it was easy to see, you belong with me

we’ll hide in my car, you read me that poem
about a tree and a heart that was sewn
and for me it is easy to see, you belong with me

but now
you’re through
and i’m left to wonder
how love
can be so
misconstrued
or how i
can be played
the fool

so tell me a story of a girl and a boy
and how when he smiled, she lit up with joy
and for her it was easy to see, she belonged with me

we’ll hide in my car, we’ll capture the sun
share about your past and what’s been undone
because for me it is easy to see, you belong with me

he did it again
as i brushed my
teeth
with a simple question.
he put his
hand on my chest
he raised his arms
in prayer he told me a secret
after he told me of salvation.
uncomfortable
with my hand on the bathroom door
with my feet on fire
he touched my chest
he embraced me
like a father.
tears.
he embraced me and
told me he’d come find me.

hostility rises in me
when you speak
and i’m left…
i guess what i have
are all questions
and no answers
and what a place
to be
i wonder
where I’m going
or what is my tether
for inclimate and whether
and i’m left…
i guess.

where are the fathers
the foundations
the fearless court?

i feel heavy today
heavy in the heart
heavy as a whole
and heavy in parts
it’s of loneliness
I think
but I know
that’s not right
it’s of longing
and abandonment
howling in the night
it calls me to crave
a destination place
a destination fate
still
foreign to the face
to a place that has
no memory of me known
where my nowhere thoughts
can feel right at home

the ship diminishes
into the sunshine
diminishes
into the horizon
that longstretching line
that makes its mark between
dreams and the day
while i stay
hugging a ticktocking bouy
with that in-the-middle-of-nowhere
feeling giving rise
i’m starting to pray
to god, i pray
watching my dreams sail away
and he says, always,
what i need him to say

Sensationalism, when used to illicit a response, even for noble causes, is irresponsible.