It is now official. After much deliberation, I have ended a three year debate and come to a conclusive decision: Justin Timberlake is my official man-crush. For years, I battled between Brad Pitt, an obvious choice for many and Mr. Timberlake, but this video changes everything. And why not end the debate by having two man-crushes? Because having two man-crushes would be stupid. That is why.

I am at a loss. Perhaps a first, I am at a loss trying to describe how I feel in this moment. Can I be so brave as to say, I long to be in love? Can I be so vulnerable? It is this heart of mine, this moving and stirring puddle of emotion, that refuses to be sated. An evanescent dance of fancied touches, vivid dreams, and a promise that has yet to come. Oh, God can you appease this?

Merry Christmas she says. Well thank you very much, sweety! Merry Christmas to you! is probably how my mother would have replied to the girl behind the register who didn’t look up as she mumbled. However, I am not my mother (much to her chagrin) and rather than engage in the game of holiday badminton, I questioned the girl. Merry Christmas?

I just wasn’t ready for it, that’s all. More than ever, this year I have escaped the marketing juggernaut that is Christmas, and this girl was actually the first person to utter the two words that have seemed to all but erase the birth of God. She was probably thinking I was an enemy of that abhorrent Holiday that those repugnant Christians insist on perpetuating every year. I say this because she quickly looked up as if prepared to not only apologize but also, to brace herself for the verbal assault that was about to ensue.

Merry Christmas? It just felt out of place and somehow, before I could catch them, the words just slipped out of my mouth.  Oh, man. It is, isn’t it. Well, thanks. Merry Christmas to you, sweety!

The book is crawling along. Still working on Part III (as mentioned in a previous post), as well as starting draft #3. Feed back from friends has illumined much of what draft #2 accomplished, and while there is much work to be done still, I’m encouraged. I’m also realizing that this project may not be done until the end of 2007. Deep breath.  Bring on the Auld Lang Syne.

…a new book. Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. Apparently, a film was made from this book in 2005 staring Elijah Wood. Check out my reading things page for more.

I am tired of looking at this manuscript. I am tired of reading and re-reading the same words over and over again. Each read through exposes more edits that need to be completed and more flaws to correct. There always seems to be ideas that can be better, smoother, cleaner, smarter, shorter, longer, simpler, stronger, clearer. I’m starting to wonder when, if ever, will this manuscript be done.  I’m reminded of a friend of mine, who while working through a video editing project, expressed the same degree of frustration. Upon me asking him, he replied, “With art, no project is ever truly finished, only abandoned.”

So today, I will be receiving my first massage ever.  A friend of ours is a masseuse and has offered her services.  I’m somewhat nervous as it’s been years since I’ve even taken my shirt off in the company of a woman, much less, had her cover me with oils and rub her hands all over me.  Hugs, handshakes and high fives simply cannot prepare me for what is about to come.  But in fifteen minutes, we’ll both inevitably begin working through thirty years of tension, both in my back and mind.